I know I’m going to sound like a cheap plug for Barnes & Noble, but I really don’t mind because it’s my happy place. I’m serious! Barnes & Noble is my happy place. I could be in a freefall panic with everything going wrong in my life; but I would crack a smile like you wouldn’t believe the second I stepped inside a Barnes & Noble. It is there that I found my passions for reading and writing as well as history, and I thank my aunt for that.
My aunt was the quintessential cool aunt. You know the one I’m talking about. She looks away when you take a sip of beer. She gives you a few extra quarters for the video game you’re playing. She takes you to places that leave you going – woah, that’s cool. Once, she took my mom and I to the Louisville Slugger museum. Now I’m not a sport’s fan. I’ve never been a sport’s fan. I doubt I’ll wake up one day and say – hey, I’m a fan of baseball. But walking in that museum with her was one of the coolest things I had ever done. Hell, she made anything she did sound really cool – even if it was going to the friggen laundromat. When I look at my life, I can say without a doubt that my aunt was one of my heroes. No matter what the adventure though, we would end our trip with a visit to Barnes & Noble. She would get an armful of books. I would get an armful of books. We would pay for it and go through them while eating muffins and sipping tea at their in-house café.
I had lost touch with her over the years though. You see, she got a little bit cranky as she got older. Part of me was like – oh lord, next she’ll be telling me to get off her damn lawn like a crotchety old man. That’s why I lost contact with her. I hated to see her turn into a crotchety old woman. My aunt had her demons. Don’t we all? And I had thought that she was allowing those demons to take hold over her. Then one day I learned that she had throat cancer. Worse still was that it had spread throughout her body and into her skull. That right there made me realize why my aunt wasn’t herself. Cancer can really screw up your thinking and feeling. So, I was going to make a trip down to see her during her final days, but then, she died on the day before I was to see her. I never got a chance to say goodbye to her.
That still pains me of course. You miss your chance to say goodbye to someone you love, and you know you’ll never get another chance. That right there will eat away at you. Always take a moment to tell your loved ones just how much they mean to you. Tell them that you love them very much. You might not ever get another chance to do that. What comforts me is that I can feel my aunt with me every time I walk into a Barnes & Noble, but I would happily trade that in for a chance to tell my aunt one last time just how much I love her and miss her.
